Being Your Own Best Friend

Short: Learn to know yourself, like yourself, enjoy yourself. This post is about initiating the thought to be your own best friend. #ShortShorts

Dall-E prompt: “a happy robot sitting in a french style street café reading a book”

Today its once more about one of those big important topics, that just won’t receive justice in a five to ten minute read. But as always, its about sparking a thought, that you then get to develop.

No point in keeping the mystery behind pages of starter-text if its already the title; today is about BEING YOUR OWN FRIEND.
This post is partly more geared towards readers older than 25 years of age. This is due to the fact that your brain then has finished its development and it’s time to take stock of yourself as you finally can start to settle into yourself. But all the things can be worked towards at all times.

As your brain and body finally stop changing, the biggest task of your life starts. Getting to know yourself.

Knowing Yourself

Do observe yourself. I mean really study yourself. How does your body react to types of food, sleep cycles, types of clothes, music, types of transportation, types of affection, sports, types of hobbies and past-times, your job, …? How does your mind react to types of food, …, types of news input, types of work tasks, fears, chances, …? How does your soul (abstract mind) react to types of self, the big questions, death, …?

It is about really keeping at discovering yourself and learning to know things about yourself more and more precisely.

Also learn to know the things you will not know about yourself. What are your blind-spots and limitations?

Also learn to know what about you has been, and/or will be, subject to change.

Liking Yourself

After you started knowing yourself, you are not just in the process of doing the most difficult and meaningful task of your life, but you will also have started training one of the most important tools at your disposal: self-reflection. It will now also be your task, to condition your self-reflection to be used benificially. Here it is very important, to not have self-realizations — facilitated through self-reflection — lead to self-loathing.

Your task will be to like the person you are discovering. Like the things you have made work, coming from the context of what you got! Like who you are! Like the prospect of what you can become! Be fair to yourself and look at all the things you want to change about yourself as either just that: Things you want to change; or, if the things are to minute to change or through (natural) law prohibited from change, as ideosyncrasies, that are part of yourself.

Maintain a sense of inspiration and of time!

Me, personally, I like an abstract mixture two mental conceptualizations for being my own best friend. A) A wise old grandfather (like in the Song “Father and Son” from Cat Stevens/Yusuf) listening with a wise and relaxed grin, and B) a twin-brother that knows me my whole life and supportively puts his hand on my shoulder.

What I like about those mental pictures of my self-friendship is, that it contextualizes me knowing myself as liking my strengths and ideosyncrasies, and making lighter of my faults than I would do “myself”. It helps me to be more content and less anxious. Maybe you find some similar approach to liking yourself.

If you think this friendship with yourself to the end, there is one last step, however.

Enjoying Yourself

You came to know yourself. You came to like yourself through the knowing. Now following the liking through knowing, there is the enjoying yourself with yourself.

Do things specifically as a friend of yourself with yourself alone! Treat yourself!

For me this is often spontaneousely going to the movies alone. But what I might also go into my favourite Spa alone. I went hiking alone a lot during the Covid-Lockdown. In a way me writing these posts for you is me treating me, as I know I enjoy building a thought. I shoot archery alone (“with myself”) as a treat. I go to a nice Café for breakfast “with myself”. I play a story video game, write poetry, play music, …

Do what ever you know you like “with yourself” - you (will) know best. Be your own best friend.

Thanks for reading! Stay beautiful <3